santa:

hey fuck you josh

(Source: humortrain)

oliveweed:

alalae:

exhali:

wuteva-a:

vohyage:

avolating:

timethekidgotfree:

cuteys:

kayquimi:

ceruleanrabbitking:

doctor-john:

the-cosmic-life:

I BET THAT IF TWO KIDS LIVED IN THOSE TWO HOUSES THAT THEY WOULD COME OUT ON THEIR ALMOST CONJOINING ROOFS OUTSIDE THEIR BEDROOM WINDOWS AND TALK AND BE BEST FRIENDS AND FALL IN LOVE.

I will not write fluff to that. I won’t. No.

LUCY I FOUND IT

But what if instead of two kids, it was, say, a kid and an old woman? And at first they just ignore each other and keep their blinds down and curtains shut, but then the kid climbs out onto the roof one spring morning to get a frisbee and she’s got the window open bc it’s so nice out and she tells him to cut that out, it’s not a jungle gym and maybe the kid shows off a bit and nearly falls, and the old woman catches his arm…. anyway, so sometimes they leave the windows open and the kid’ll show off his comic books or asks what rhymes with ‘beautiful’ (and it’s totally for homework shut up), and the old woman tells him about all the protests and marches she took part in, and asks him the name of that one cute pop star (it’s absolutely for her crossword now shush). And the old woman gives the kid relationship advice and doesn’t tell when he tries a bit too much of his parents’ liquor cabinet one time, and the kid comes over and shows her how to use the smartphone her daughter bought for her and doesn’t tell when she sneaks a cigarette out of said daughter’s bag. And when the weather’s too bad to open the windows, they tape silly pictures or notes to the glass for the other to see (the kid makes sure to make his extra big so she doesn’t have to admit her eyeight isn’t what it used to be), and when it is nice the kid will sneak over and leave seashells on her windowsill, because the old woman said once she misses the sea, but she can’t travel like she used to. And one day he peeks in her window and sees her on the floor, and calls 911 and basically saves her life because she had a stroke and nobody would’ve known in time otherwise. And when she finally gets back from the hospital, just for a while because her daughter’s talking about a retirement home where she’ll have plenty of medical care and lots of friends her age, the kid comes through the window and then pulls another kid through the window who he introduces as his boyfriend, and says he wanted her to meet him. And she sniffs and interrogates the boyfriend in proper elderly relative fashion, and then declares him worthy of her boy— barely. And when she finally does have to go to that retirement home, the kid still comes to visit her, and always leaves seashells on the windowsill.

I’m not crying or anything

I am omg

Oh my god I’m crying

How women transform with makeup!

Fuck off!!!^

there are many versions of this but im in love with this one omg

wow ok

 

wehidebehindstars:

It really confuses me how this is a bird

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But this is also a bird

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But this is a bird, too

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and also this

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People are always talking about cats like “wtf even are cats” and “how are cats real”

but we should really be talking about birds. 

Wtf are birds?

hanari-502:

jaclcfrost:

a villain that became a villain not because they seek vengeance or crave power but because villains always have better one-liners, outfits, and musical numbers

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PRESENTATION

tony-the-intelligent-goon:

ashiibaka:

Science.

I can’t tell what my favorite part is, but it’s either
scientists wasting budget and time to see if ants count their steps
the idea to put ants on stilts
there had to be a guy who made ant stilts and put them on the ants
confused ants

tony-the-intelligent-goon:

ashiibaka:

Science.

I can’t tell what my favorite part is, but it’s either

  • scientists wasting budget and time to see if ants count their steps
  • the idea to put ants on stilts
  • there had to be a guy who made ant stilts and put them on the ants
  • confused ants

(Source: memewhore)

"

1. Your place is in the kitchen. If you somehow manage to find work outside of the home, it is because you fucked the interviewer.

2. You cannot participate in sports because no one will want to watch you play. Unless your uniform is a sports bra and spandex.

3. ‘You are not like other girls’ is the best compliment you can receive. Other girls are your enemies because they are your competition. Not in landing a job, but in landing a husband.

4. Homosexuality is okay in pornography. Love and marriage with someone that is of the same sex as you is not.

5. You were asking for it. Despite the fact that he was your friend, despite the fact that you were too inebriated to say ‘yes’, despite the fact that you were passed out. You were asking for it.

6. Wearing revealing clothes makes you a slut.

7. Don’t have sex because everyone will think you’re a slut.

8. The worst thing you can possibly be is a slut.

9. But you still need to be sexually alluring and available. Just not a slut.

10. It is your responsibility not to get pregnant and your responsibility alone. However, if you do get pregnant, you cannot get an abortion because that’s just being selfish.

11. You don’t want to have children? That’s not how things are done. You’re not living up to your role as a woman.

12. Being upset and cognizant of your feelings is a sign of emotional and mental instability.

13. Lose weight.

14. But keep your curves. You’re not a real woman without them.

15. You don’t own the rights to your body.

16. If you notice any discrimination based on your sex or gender, it’s better to keep quiet because you don’t want to upset anyone. Silence is better than making someone uncomfortable.

17. It is your fault for being born a woman. And you should be ashamed.

"
absentions, Things society will try to teach my 16-year-old daughter (via absentions)
usamericunt:

i went to target and for some fucking reason, they fucking put doritos bags in the same fucking shelves as the 3ds consoles, behind locked windows in the fucking electronic section ??????????????????

usamericunt:

i went to target and for some fucking reason, they fucking put doritos bags in the same fucking shelves as the 3ds consoles, behind locked windows in the fucking electronic section
 ??????????????????

(Source: yasmastah)

doctorspontaneous:

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

luckydreaming:

Are fedoras really that bad?

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YES YES THEY ARE

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

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I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

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Right..?

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The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

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I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

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Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

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WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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